Published on mai 23rd, 2016 | by Archer0
Dealing With An Office-Bound Unrequited Love
One of the most vulnerable state is being in love with another person. It opens up your most delicate side and engages you to a less logical experience. Unfortunately, despite the bubble gum flavoured world of love, it is not always pretty.
I was very unfortunate of having the blues of love in the workplace itself – not once but twice! Can you imagine how awkward would that be? That is why as much as possible, it is not encouraged to fall in love in the workplace. When things happen, the awkwardness could get in the way of your work. Good thing, in my position, we never get to interact because it’s a big company.
As my favourite quote from another blog says, « When you start to spend more time with another human being, you expose yourself to whom he or she is — all the idiosyncrasies, past experiences, what makes him or her happy or sad, dreams and ambitions in life, flaws and the depths of his or her heart. »
That’s why, every time we meet in the hallway or in the pantry, I go the other way…
I hide not because I despise him for not returning the feelings I have but because I fear that if I take another look, I may not be able to look away again. It’s an endless suffering. It’s a never ending question of whether to give up or still listen to the voices of hope inside my head.
It would be sensible to just act like nothing happened, to avoid him at all cost. Maybe, the feelings would just go away in isolation. Maybe the feelings would wither off on a natural death. We can’t be so sure but for one thing, I will be spared from the constant pain of wanting to have him even though I can’t.
I really hate to be all so melancholic but there’s not much I can do. I really want to go to him and tell him about my day. Spill some news I know about or even just say hi but maybe, that’s too much. Maybe, he doesn’t want to be in my presence. Maybe, he just doesn’t want me the way I want him. That’s just too painful to endure on a daily basis. That is why, cutting ties to that person, although very childish to do, is something that is imperative as of this moment. (at least for me).
So, at the end of the day, there’s nothing there for me but it’s okay. Someday, I will find a person who will love me without being asked to. Someone who I never have to change myself for. But until then, I am yet to deal with his office-bound unrequited love.